Iggy should exclude trivial details or any sentences that add flair to the essay or passage. This is because having too much of this makes the essay overwhelming and overall not encouraging to read. He should reread the passage and replace weak or overused words in his essay. This is because weak words make the passage underwhelming to read and hard to pay attention to and overused words make the essay seem cheap. These are some ways to improve the readability for his audience.
I hope this helps, that you have a good rest of your day, and that you get a good score.
