Can someone please tell me if this makes sense in English?, is well written and I have used the expressions well? Please I was learning English.

Dear Grievance Manager
I am writing this letter to bring your attention that I am not satisfied with your quality of sending services at "Adornet".

The last month, on 30th July exactly, I bought in a online way in "Adornet" because i live in other country. It was a collectiable necklace, that had an hourglass in its center.

The managers told me that the order should arrive in two weeks, but it arrived in three and a half weeks. I have been a regular client of your business but now I am complety disappointed, becuase when i received the package i notice that it was in bad condition and I found that the hourglass was broken. The way they packed it had been a lot more sloppy than the other times I shopped here.

i called to the shop the same day and I mentioned that they did not pack the necklace with due protection, but the shop assistant refuse to change it or make a refund. She said that it wasn't a store fault.

Please, I have always been satisfied with your services, but this time I think I'm entitled to a refund of my money and I would like to know how I can get it back. I look forward to hearing fron you soon.

Yours truly.
Gaby D.C